I could buy 58,000 Presidential $1 coins
[via US Mint]
Perhaps it was negligent on my part to choose a school that would put the puddle of my parents’ retirement funds in the middle of a desert, but what is done is done. Now I must act to minimize the toll this decision has inflicted. I could beg, lament, and curse, but this is the internet and I would simply make a fool out of myself attempting as such. I will mention it just this one time.
I have $58,000 to pay each year in tuition costs. If you can help, I will give unto you my undying gratitude.