I could fatten some friends up with 7081 buckets of lard

[via Amazon]

I could curse the rain with 1933 umbrellas that each depict a middle finger.

[via Ebay]



I could repulse a great amount of people with 23293 turds of fake human poop

[via Amazon]

I could spice up life with 9847 bottles of Sriracha Sauce

[via Amazon]

I could bike around the neighborhood in a new Santa suit each day for the next 1657 days

[via Party City]

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