I could waterproof my life with 2904 sets of Neverwet
[via Home Depot]
I could have studied for more than five years at an in state university with a state of the art dormitory
I could provide 11623 ‘Pound Plus’ (17.6 oz) Chocolate Bars to my university’s student population
[via Trader Joe’s]
Perhaps it was negligent on my part to choose a school that would put the puddle of my parents’ retirement funds in the middle of a desert, but what is done is done. Now I must act to minimize the toll this decision has inflicted. I could beg, lament, and curse, but this is the internet and I would simply make a fool out of myself attempting as such. I will mention it just this one time.
I have $58,000 to pay each year in tuition costs. If you can help, I will give unto you my undying gratitude.